David, Lisa, Kayla, Isaac & Annika

Last week I wrote a long blog post that I did not actually post for viewing. After writing everything down, I'm feeling much better! There is something about getting all of my frustrations written down that was very freeing. The gist of the post was that I'm overwhelmed. Completely overwhelmed!

I have a lot of friends who are becoming first time moms this year. In talking with one of them a few weeks ago and in hearing her stories I remember how overwhelmed I was when Kayla was born. Becoming a mother was a huge transition. I remember wondering how you could love someone so helpless and needy so much, yet be beyond frustrated with them due to lack of sleep, finding out reality is different than expectations, not knowing how anything would ever get done (laundry, grocery shopping, feeding myself lunch, etc). Yet with time, somehow I figured it out. And in looking back at it, I wonder what I thought was so hard!

Now I am at that place again, this time with two kids. The specifics I found hard the first time is not what I find hard now. I knew to expect the lack of sleep. I've done the baby thing before and am confident in my mothering skills. However, I am at the stage where I don't see how anything will ever get done! I feel like my life is spinning out of control. And I'm trying to enjoy every minute - even through the chaos - because I know that this time is fleeting and my kids will soon be at different stages. I don't want to wish that this phase goes quickly, because there are so many precious things about it. But, please don't come to my house expecting to see the floor.... it's either covered in toys or in cat hair! Please don't expect my clothes to be neat... no time to iron the clothes that have been left in the dryer for awhile. Please don't expect to see my countertops... they are covered with clean dishes that need to be put away and dirty dishes that need to go in the dishwasher, but the dishwasher needs to be emptied first! Please don't expect to see the kitchen table... it is covered in stacks of paper I piled when it was time to eat dinner! Please don't expect me to be showered (or out of my PJ's for that matter)... that's just not my priority these days! What I hope you would notice is a smile on my kids faces, and maybe one on my face too!!

I wonder at what point I will look back on this stage and say, what was so hard about that?! I don’t expect that to be for a long time!

Now.... maybe one of these days I'll be caught up on my posts. :)