I've been trying to find the time to record all the details of Isaac's birth before my memories start to fade. His story of coming into our world is so vastly different from my birth story with Kayla that it makes me smile. His birth was nothing like I'd imagined, yet there is nothing I would change about it. When I was pregnant with him, I said that I wasn't looking forward to labor, but I was looking forward to delivery. I remember the moment when they put Kayla in my arms and it is ingrained as one of my most precious memories. I was so looking forward to that moment when they would put my baby #2 into my arms, and Isaac, you did not disappoint. That will also be ingrained as one of my most precious memories. But, let me start from the beginning. As a warning, it's long and it's detailed. Feel free to skip to the pictures at the end! :)
Sunday, March 28
I woke up about 3:30 with some dull aches/pains in my belly and back. I did not know if this was just an annoying pregnancy side-effect or if this was a contraction. Memory made me think it was a contraction - they felt just like my contractions with Kayla. Yet I was only 38 weeks and 3 days pregnant. As a realist, I'd expected to go late with this pregnancy, so I felt these pains were likely not real labor. But after having several of them (way too sporadic to time) over the course of the next hour, I decided to go downstairs and lay on the couch. I wasn't able to fall back asleep in bed and I figured maybe if they weren't real contractions a change in scenery might help me fall back asleep. And I did kind of fall in and out of sleep, but it's hard to do when you are trying to debate in your mind if they are real contractions or not! About 7am I turned my computer on and started Googling "early labor signs", "what to eat during labor" and looked at my notebook from the childbirth class we took for Kayla to find the difference between false labor and true labor. My contractions went around my body - front and back, but they were only mildly painful and they were so sporadic (10 mins apart, then 20 mins, then 5 mins, then 30 mins) that they seemed more characteristic of Braxton Hicks (except they were a bit painful). At 8 Kayla woke up and she and David came downstairs. David's first words were, "I hope you came downstairs because you were uncomfortable, not because of anything else!" To which I said, "I don't know"!! I ate a light breakfast of yogurt and granola and a piece of toast with butter. Then I headed up to the shower to see if a change in activity would make them go away. When I went to the bathroom, I had a bloody show (which after my shower I Googled and found that I was probably really close to going into labor if I wasn't already). So I really wasn't sure what to do. Am I in labor? Am I not? Very frustrating! You'd think I would know, but I did not. I decided it wouldn't be a bad idea to finish packing my labor bags, though. I had my labor bag packed already (camera, chap stick, nursing bra, gift for Kayla from baby #2 and something to get the baby's footprint recorded on). Then I packed a going home bag with our outfits for a boy and a girl, a going home outfit for me, and a nursing pillow. Then I packed a bag for David with clothes for him and snacks and such.
David made the decision (since I was so indecisive) that we'd go to church. No point in missing it if I'm not actually in labor, and if I am and if it picks up, we can always leave! So, off to church we went. I called my parents and David called his to let them know that I MIGHT be in labor! At church I went to the bathroom and put some paper towels in my jacket pocket, in case my water broke (in hind-sight, this makes me laugh.... those paper towels would not have been nearly sufficient!). I would tap David every time I had a contraction and he was timing them. But they were still very inconsistent. They were ranging from 5 to 30 mins apart. And they were mildly painful, but not enough that I had to stop singing a song or concentrate on breathing or anything. Walking around made them more painful, so I was thinking that this probably was true labor, but since they didn't seem to be coming any closer together, I still did not know (in hindsight, I guess I was in denial!).
Here are a few pictures from the morning.
When we got home from church, I did a little more Googling to try to figure out if I was really in labor or not! Early labor apparently usually last anywhere from 6-12 hours, and is usually less for subsequent babies. Since I'd been having contractions for like 10 hours, I was very confused! I grabbed a few Ritz crackers and headed upstairs to try and take a nap in our bed. Since I'd basically been up since 3:30 I figured I would at least try to sleep. If I was in labor I'd need to have energy. If I wasn't, maybe napping would make the contractions stop! I don't think I really ever slept, per say, but I did rest and possibly dozed in and out of sleep in-between contractions. By 2pm I was having cramps/contractions every 10 mins. But I was able to massage my back and that really helped manage the pain. I was thankful that I had found something easy to do that was bringing relief. I was happy that it appeared I was not having back labor (as I did with Kayla), since I was able to find some relief from the pain (which I was not able to find with Kayla). At 3pm I was restless and decided to come downstairs. David was in the kitchen cooking up a storm! We had been grocery shopping the night before and had planned to make some freezer meals to stock up for when the baby comes. Since we already had meat thawing and such, he figured he'd work on that while Kayla and I were napping. Around 4pm my contractions were more like 6-8 mins apart. I was still in the kitchen, helping unload the dishwasher and helping clean up the mess. My contractions were painful, but I was still easily able to talk through them, although I did take a break from working and try to focus on breathing. I was trying to just ignore my contractions, since that's really the best way to deal with early labor. When it gets more intense you can't ignore it, so you might as well not focus on what doesn't really hurt.
About this time we called my parents and I let them know that I was pretty for sure in labor and was probably going to have this baby in the next say 12 hours. I didn't feel my contractions were close enough together to warrant going to the hospital yet. I did not want to go and be sent home. But they were becoming increasingly painful and closer together and much more consistent. So, I think about 4ish is when I finally believed that I was in true labor.
My parents were going to driving out that Friday, and our hope was that baby #2 would wait until they were here (my mom was staying for 2 weeks - a week before and a week after my due date) and then she would be able to care for Kayla while we were at the hospital. Our next door neighbors, who often watch Kayla when I have appointments, offered to watch Kayla if this baby decided to come out before my parents were in town. We had called them earlier this morning before church and let them know that I was showing signs of early labor, and wanted to make sure they would be around to care for Kayla. About 4:30 David called them again and asked if they could come over so we could go over things for Kayla, since we thought we'd be headed to the hospital soon. Starting just after 4, I was dealing with contractions on my knees on the floor, bent over with my upper-body on the couch. David was using counter-pressure and it was helping manage the pain. While our neighbor was over here, I was no longer able to talk through my contractions, they were getting quite painful. I was sort of able to contribute to David's instructions in-between contractions, but mostly was just trying to cope.
At 4:55 I decided I wanted to call the Doctorr. My contractions were still about 6 mins apart, which was still pretty far apart in my opinion. But they were incredibly painful, so I wanted to go to the hospital. I was in the midst of a contraction while I was trying to talk to the receptionist, but when the Dr called back I was in-between them, so I was able to talk perfectly fine! However, she told me to come in, so we started working towards that goal. I still wasn't convinced that it was time to go quite yet, though. Based on my labor with Kayla, having contractions close together doesn't necessarily mean there is progress. However, these contractions were far more intense than my contractions were at the time I went into the hospital with Kayla. So, when Kayla woke up from her nap shortly after 5, I wanted David to take her next door. I didn't want her to see me during a contraction - I didn't want to have to hide the pain and didn't want her to see me in pain and be scared. So David waited until one was done, she came down and gave me a hug and I told her that I thought she would be able to meet her little brother/sister soon! He headed next door and I headed into my next contraction!
At 5:20 I called my parents to let them know we were going to the hospital. But after telling them that, I was into my next contraction, so I handed David the phone to finish the conversation. We then headed to the car and David was loading up. I made him run back inside to get the lumbar support pillow for my back, but I was barely able to move to have him position it for me. We had several things to load up in the car, but it seemed like David was going SO SLOW (he insists that he was running around!!). I told him he needed to get me to the hospital, and get me there NOW!!
In the car my contractions were right on top of each other. If I had to guess, I had maybe 30 seconds of rest in-between them and they were lasting for maybe 2 minutes. I was holding onto the side handle and arm rest in the van and lifting myself up during contractions. David was trying to make jokes ("oh, you seem to be in more pain this time than when we were going to the hospital with Kayla")! Also, on our way with Kayla, he tried to navigate a different way to the hospital and I insisted he go my way! This time he started off by saying that he'd let me tell him which way to go, which did make me smile! :) He called his parents as soon as we got on the road (5:30) and told them we were on our way. I made him get off the phone shortly because I needed to moan/yell/scream a bit, and didn't want to be overheard! :)
We pulled into the hospital at 5:40 and I was quite relieved that we'd made it there. A man with a wheelchair met us at the car. He asked what was going on (um, yeah, hi, I'm in labor) and told me to get out and get into the wheelchair. He grabbed my arm to help me and I all but refused to move! He said he'd wait until the contraction was over... but when it was over I was barely able to move because the next one was almost starting up again! Somehow I got into the chair, though, and David went to park. At the registration desk they asked me a ton of questions: name, birthday, due date, Doctor's name, what number child this was, how far apart were my contractions (I answered that by saying, “I don’t know, close!!”).... I barked out answers in-between breaths during the contractions. In less than a minute there were people from labor and delivery wheeling me upstairs. They did not even wait for David to come in! There was still a small part of my mind that was praying that they wouldn't send me home saying I'm not far enough yet.... but mostly I knew that I was far and I was nervous about what would come next.
In my labor with Kayla, I had hoped to go without pain medication. However, I experienced back labor and a very slow dilation. In the end, I decided that I wanted to get an epidural to relieve the pain... and I am glad I did. It made my labor and delivery with her enjoyable. My hope in this labor was also to go without drugs. The problem with that, though, is that in the back of my mind there was the knowledge that I could easily get an epidural and avoid the pain.... so in the heat of the moment, I had wondered if I would just give in and get one. Well, as soon as I was in the elevator at the hospital, I was telling my nurse that I wanted one! She said she'd work on it. They asked me if my first labor was quick (no!) and took me to triage. They had me take off my clothes and put on a gown and get on a table... however, I was only able to take my shirt off! They had to strip the rest of my clothes off and I don't remember exactly how getting on the table went. I was expecting to be hooked up to monitors for awhile (as I was with Kayla) and could not imagine how I was going to sit/lay down for any length of time. She checked me and said, "Well, you are dilated to at least a 6, but your water is still intact so I don't want to check you any further before we get to the labor and delivery room". I was so thankful that I wouldn't be sent home and also so thankful they wouldn't be monitoring me in triage! I again expressed my interest in the epidural and they again said they would work on it. Then I was told to "control my breathing" and a nurse got right up in my face and showed me how to blow through a contraction (NOT HELPFUL!! Although I guess it did stop me from hyperventilating). She then told me not to push. Well, my next contraction came along and my body pushed... It’s funny how your body just takes over; I couldn't stop it... and my water broke... er, exploded. It was amazing at the bursting sound of the sac and the amount of water that got all over. The two nurses looked at each other (so I am told, my eyes were closed and my mind was focused) and basically started running down the hallway to L&D. David had just made it up to triage and was collecting my clothes and then had to sprint down the hallway to catch up to us! The L&D room was apparently a zoo (again, I had my eyes closed!). There were 4 nurses trying to prep everything and then the Doctor and David. They told me in-between the next contraction that I needed to move to the delivery bed. Well, I kind of just ignored them because I did not see how it was physically possible for me to do this. There basically wasn't an in-between anymore. They ended up just picking me up and transferring me themselves! I again pleaded with the nurse about my epidural, and she looked at me and said, "Oh hunny.... this baby is going to be born in the next 5-10 minutes, there's no time for an epidural". David was putting our bags down and was in a bit of shock. I opened my eyes and called him over to me and remember telling him that I couldn't do this... that I didn't want to do this... that I couldn't handle anymore. He was so encouraging and supportive. I could not have managed without that support. Each time a new contraction was coming on I would start to whimper because I knew what was coming and I didn’t want to deal with it. Each time the contraction was over I looked and David and said I couldn’t handle anymore. At this moment I remembered the advice some of my friends had given me, and that is that when you feel like you can't do anymore, when you can't handle any more pain, that it is your body's way of telling you that you are almost there... that the end is in sight. I used that knowledge as motivation; however, I really did not think that I was going to make it. I literally thought I was going to die, and even that I would be ok with dying, since that would mean my pain would stop. I just wanted to the pain to stop. However, I knew it was going to get much worse before it got any better. And indeed, it did get worse! My body was already pushing for me, and forcing me to do a little pushing.... but once I was transferred to the delivery bed, they were telling me how to push (which was helpful, since my brain would not function, I was totally focused). I could barely control my body. A few times they put an oxygen mask on me so that they baby would get more oxygen, since my breathing was so spastic. They were telling me to grab behind my legs and push and I couldn't. I just didn't feel like I was capable of doing anything. I felt helpless at that moment... that my body was pushing me to the brink of my pain tolerance and I couldn't handle anymore. As a new contraction would come on I was whimpering because I knew what that meant and I did not want to do it. I wanted to give up. David was invaluable to me because he gave me hope - reminded me of the goal I was working towards, reminded me that I am strong and I can handle this and I WILL handle this and will be done soon and holding my child. I can't even describe the noises I made during the pushing. I've heard it described as an animalistic noise/cry and I guess that is the best way to describe it. I did not yell any words, but there was a lot of yelling/screaming/etc coming out. It was cries of survival. My body involuntarily made those cries. After pushing through 3 contractions (and giving several pushes per contraction) they brought out a mirror for me to see my progress. I saw a very similar sight to what I saw when I looked at the mirror with Kayla.... and could see this baby would have a full head of dark hair! David reminded me that I was so close... that I could do this. The Doctor then said on my next contraction she wanted slow, controlled pushes. My prayer was that she was saying that because I was so close. And indeed I was. It took one or two controlled pushes and out popped our baby's head. The pain and pressure was so incredibly intense that I could not wait to push the rest of my baby out. At 6:08pm, with one more controlled push I pushed out the body and they immediately put my precious baby – my precious SON on my chest. The intense pain was immediately gone. My joy overflowed. They placed a warm blanket over our bodies and they let me hold him, gaze at him, kiss his head. I could not believe how quickly he came... could not believe that I was holding him in my arms. And to have a son! We would have been happy to have a boy or a girl.... I would have been thrilled to have another girl, I would have loved for Kayla to have a sister that close in age. But to have a son is an incredible joy. We so wanted to raise a daughter and a son. And since this may be our last child, we are so thankful to have a boy. I did not know how I would relate to having a boy - all I'd known was having a baby girl, and I love Kayla so much I couldn't imagine anything else. But my unconditional love started the moment they placed him on my chest. I am enamored by him. I am grateful for him. I am truly blessed. He is a gift from God and I am in love with His creation.
After he was delivered the contractions continued, but they were not terribly intense. I was given a shot of pitocin in my leg to help the uterus clot (or something) and I was nervous that it would hurt again to deliver the placenta.... I didn't want to push anything else out of my body for a very long time! But thankfully it did not require exertion to deliver that. I did have a 2nd degree tear (again), so I was given some shots of lidocain to help numb the pain while I was stitched up. Unlike with Kayla (where they whisked her away after I only got to hold her for 20 seconds) they left him on my chest to enjoy. After maybe 30 minutes they asked if they could weigh him and clean him off a little bit. That was so ideal. That was what I had wanted. David got to hold him for the first time at this point too, and he was overjoyed with his son.
We decided to name him Isaac Kenneth Taylor. The Kenneth of course is in honor of our family - Grand Pop-pop's name, Pop-pop's name, and David’s middle name. We chose Isaac because we loved the way it sounded and the way it fit with Kenneth and with Taylor.
At this point we called our parents. They were both expecting the call to be a "Hey, we have been admitted into the hospital" so they were even more shocked when we were announcing that he had been born! They were all thrilled and could not wait to see pictures and to meet him. In fact, my mom had bought a plane ticket for the next day to come out so she could help take care of Kayla while we were in the hospital. That was such a relief to us because we then knew we would both be able to completely focus on Isaac without having to worry about Kayla at all.
Then we called our neighbors and asked if they could bring Kayla over to meet her sibling. We waited until she was at the hospital to tell her she had a little brother. She was quite fascinated with him. She watched the nurse work on him and give him a bath, and if her arm ever blocked Kayla's view of Isaac her eyes would light up and she would shake her hands and be very concerned - it was adorable! We gave Kayla a present from Isaac, a book about being a big sister. I read it to her before she left and made sure I gave her some good mom attention! It was really fun to have our family of 4 together for the first time.
Isaac, you are a blessing to our family. We are so in love with you already and thankful to have the privilege of raising you. We love you, son.
