« August 2007 | Main | October 2007 »
So I went to the pediatrician's office yesterday to weigh Kayla, just to make sure that breastfeeding is going well. She weighed in at 10 lbs, 6.5 oz...yikes. For reference, 3 weeks ago she was 8 lbs, 10 oz.... so almost a gain of 2 lbs in 3 weeks! Oh my - can you say growth spurt?? Guess we are doing well! :)
Also, I have added a link to my birth story on the right. It is quite detailed, so take that as a warning if you are interested in reading it!!
I can't believe that it's already been 5 weeks! I realize that this is a bit overdue, but here goes.
Kayla,
I don't even think that I'll be able to put into words everything that I felt in the first few days of your life. I remember Monday morning when your mom came in at 6am and woke me up saying "I think we're going to have a baby today." Unfortunately for your mother, you decided to wait until Tuesday morning to come into this world. It's different for me, I wasn't able to feel you growing inside of me, I didn't feel your every move and kick. I didn't get to experience those things, yet I was bonded with you before your birth and that bond grew to untold limits the moment you were born. I remember seeing your face for the first time, you were very precious. Right after your birth, the nurse placed you on your mom's chest and the joy she had in her face was indescribable. I can remember thinking "Holy cow, I'm a dad now!". You were a little stinker and wouldn't cry for the nurses as they cleaned out your lungs, your mother was very concerned for you as was I. I held onto your little foot as they worked on you, so that you'd know that someone that loved you very much was close. While I was holding onto you, I was also holding onto your mother's leg as well. I wanted both of my babe's to know that their Daddy/Husband was close and there if either of them needed him. It's hard to describe what it's like to love someone so much without even really knowing them. You were born and it was unbelievable love at first sight. There's not a thing I wouldn't do for you. You and I spent more time together in your first few hours of life than anyone else spent with you. I cut the cord that had connected you with mom for 9+ months, I held your little hand while they pricked your foot, and I helped with your first bath. Those are memories that I will never forget. You were and still are so precious. I Love you Kayla, love Dad.
Kayla,
I wanted to take a minute to write down some of the nicknames we have come up for you:
Peanut
Munchkin
Fussy-buns
Stinky-butt
Squeakers
Kayla-bear
Baby girl
Sweet pea
Love-muffin
On another note, I am starting to get a better perspective of the term "unconditional love". Kayla, I love you unconditionally. You fuss, you cry, you scream, you squeak, you need to feed All.THE.TIME, you need to constantly be held, and you tire me out... you really are just learning communication skills, meaning you are learning to cry, and I am learning how to respond. You aren't yet capable to giving anything back, so essentially you are taking, and taking, and taking. Under any other circumstance, I would find this constant need to comfort and soothe, and this extreme responsibility, both frustrating and possibly annoying. However, I am treasuring these times. I love you so much it almost breaks my heart to think about it. The way you know my voice and search the room for me, the way you smile smugly when you are full and content, the peaceful look you give when you are sound asleep, the startle reflex you have that makes me laugh, the way you get excited when you know you are about to be fed, the cooing noises you make, the smiles you give, the fact that I see both David and I in your face... you are so precious to me. I love you no matter what you do. My love for you in unconditional. Doesn't mean I don't get frustrated... but my love for you will never end. Becoming a parent has opened my eyes and my comprehension of what it is like to be a child of God - how precious I must be, that he created ME, and loves ME, no matter how much I annoy Him.
I wanted to take a quick moment to reflect on how blessed I am. I did not realize how helpless I would be after the delivery, and how much I would need and want help. So, in light of that, here's a thanks to you, my hero's!
David:
I have the most supportive husband in the world. During the first week when he was home, he changed every diaper, helped encourage me at every breastfeeding session, brought me water, food and Advil, and took care of every other need I had. He hugged me when I needed to cry, and listened when I needed to vent. He took Kayla in the middle of the nights when I had been feeding for seemingly 4 hours straight and I couldn't take any more. He didn't complain once.
Friends:
We have wonderful friends. Many people have brought us meals, gifts, cards, and well-wishing. I can't thank you enough for your love and support. It is hard not having family in town, and our friends have certainly stepped up to help us out. We thank you!
Family:
Shortly after David started back at work, my mother-in-law came to help. She stayed for a little more than a week, and while I wasn't sure I needed or wanted help for that long of a time, I don't know what I would have done without her. She cooked fabulous meals for us, after grocery shopping for all of the ingrediants. She brought me breakfast, lunch, drinks and anything else I needed while I nursed. She stayed up late at night with Kayla, allowing David and I to get chunks of sleep. She watched Kayla while I took showers. She helped sort through all of the clothes we received, and helped organize them into the different sizes. She did more loads of laundry than I do in a month. She vaccumed not only the floors, but our cat toys! I think she ironed every shirt we own (including David's work-out shirts!). She made things for us to freeze (breads, coffee cake, extra meals). She gave us time to be alone, and helped out in any way she could. She gave advice, but not in a way that was over-bearing or intrusive. I will say it again, I am so thankful for her help and support, and can't imagine how I would have survived without her!! Thanks Mom Taylor!!
After she left, we had the long weekend to ourselves, and then my mom came in town!! By this point I was more mobile and active. I wanted to get out of the house and start to get into some sort of groove. We made several trips out, did some shopping, and had a great time!! She also took Kayla at nights, and allowed me to take naps in the morning, or during the day. She shopped and cooked meals for us, and brought me food and drinks, etc while I nursed. She also babysat for us and allowed us to go out on a date for dinner!
Now she is gone, and there are no more scheduled visits from anyone. I am both excited and nervous about this! I feel so blessed to have people come in and take care of me, and take care of Kayla (and David too!). Both of our families have been SO supportive. I am excited for this journey on my own while David is at work. It will be nice to start to get into a groove and see how life will be for the next few months. However, it has been so nice to have people here to take Kayla when she is fussy, and let me nap when I am tired and she is not! Now that I am on my own, I hope I can handle it all on my own! I know there are good days and bad days. For me, when I get a good night sleep that makes everything so much easier, and I can handle the harder times so much better. And I know that at least when he gets home, David will do whatever I need him too. And really, it's only about 10 hours a day, I should be able to handle a 4 week old on my own for that long, right??!! We shall see I suppose! I will keep you all posted on how it goes! :)